The Blessing of No

No one likes to hear the word "no." No one. Especially someone who has stubborn and hard-headed tendencies...like me. When I hear the word no, I am determined to make a no into a yes. Growing up, I liked to exercise this determination with my mom as much as possible. Mom, can I buy this baby chick at the fair? No. Guess what, I went ahead and bought 2. Mom, can I shave my legs? No. So what did I do, shaved them anyway. There are too many examples of my stubborn ways. Yes, I am one determined girl.

Well God told me no. And not just me. Me and Marc. We (I) like to plan - it's really a sickness. We (I) had it all planned out. Marc was going to get a full-time job at the beginning of the year, we would receive full benefits (praise the Lord because it gets old and $$$ paying for your own insurance), Marc would finish school, and we would start a family. And they lived happily ever after. That was the MY plan. God said NO!

The full-time position we were hoping for did not get approved. And it hurt. It hurt to see my sweet husband who works so hard disappointed. It hurt to think that God didn't want this for us as well. I wanted to pout, I wanted to argue with Him, I wanted to throw an all out temper tantrum to change His mind. After a "crying and shaking my fist at God" episode, I sucked it up. It was time to put on my big girl panties and deal with the fact that He is in control. Who am I to argue with Him? He has plans for us and I know it's 100% better than anything I can plan. And, He's so quick to remind that He will provide for us - even when it looks different than how we thought He would provide. He has and continues to take care of us. Probably for the first time in my life, I am thankful for the word No. His No convicted us, brought us onto our knees and into His will and His timing.

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom." - Luke 12:22-32

My Own Little World

I heard this song on my way back to work from lunch with a really sweet friend I know through Camp Hope. She and I always end up having really deep conversations about our desires and passions. As she put it, "We always have such intellectual conversations when we get together...and I'm really not an intellectual." That makes two of us!

Anyway, our conversation stirred up some of the things that have been on my heart recently, and then I heard this song by Matthew West on the way home. I love music - especially worship - because the lyrics usually do a better job of explaining my heart and thoughts. This song does just that...my tendency is to be preoccupied with what I'm doing, my plans and me, me, me when actually, I am here to do His will, to glorify Him and to go where He wants me to go! I love the part of the song that says "Father break my heart for what breaks Yours, give me open hands and open doors, put Your light in my eyes and let me see, that my own little world is not about me." Thank you God for this word today!

Happy 17th Birthday Sieara!

Today, I celebrated Sieara's 17th birthday. Well, her actual birthday was yesterday but she didn't have school today because it was Election Day, so I picked her and her cousin, Leah, up for an early dinner at a Japanese Hibachi Grill! Yummy (even though it makes my stomach hurt)! I can't believe she is 17 now...it just seems like yesterday that I was the adult counselor in her cabin at Camp Hope. For some reason that year, our cabin seemed to be the trouble cabin...from starting a water fight to the girls getting in trouble for dress code, but it seemed those were the times that Sieara had the most fun. She drove me a little crazy at camp because she had an attitude capable of making a whole room get cold. But after camp, I called her to let her know she wasn't moving up a level at camp because of this. I expected more attitude but instead, she thanked me for helping her with a situation at home. I saw a glimpse of Sieara's vulnerability beneath that tough exterior. For the past 2 years we have hunt out, and I've had the opportunity to watch her open up, even if it was laced with a little attitude. Like the time that she told me that my butt looked big in the pants I was wearing. When I looked at her shocked, she said, "What?! That's a compliment when you tell a black girl that." At least she tells the truth!

I am so thankful that she has shared the past 2 years of her life with me, and I look forward to all that God has in store for her! Happy 17th Birthday Sieara!

Me, Sieara and her cousin Leah

Thinking Outside the Bun

Yes, I am a Taco Bell lover. Have been since I was a child. I'm a soft taco, cinnamon twists kind of girl. As I have aged, I've added the hard taco to the order. And, depending on the reason for my craving, a side of nachos and small Dr. Pepper will be added to the mix. Typically, my TB craving happens during these occasions:
1. I'm eating with my friend Lauren
2. I'm home alone, don't feel like cooking and out and about anyway!
3. I've had a completely hectic and horrible day...which usually calls for the side of nachos and small Dr. Pepper to soothe me.

Today, was #3.

Here's was how I thought today would go:

Marc would go to his overnight CFA staff retreat in Stone Mountain...enjoy some golf and team building activities while I leisurely strolled to the gym after work, stopped by Home Depot on the way home to pick up some pansies to plant in our front yard (I thought I could surprise Marc with my attempt to have a green thumb...), and enjoy a nice relaxing night at home with some good fine and maybe even a glass of wine.

I should have known it was too good to be true because the words leisurely and relaxing were mentioned...

What really happened:
I woke up late and when I went to the kitchen to make some coffee, I see Marc's work clothes for tomorrow. By the time I let him know, he is already in Stone Mountain about to start playing golf. I have a less than perfect day at work. Marc and I decide to meet at 4:30 somewhere off 285, however a monsoon makes it a little stressful to drive compounded by the fact that the exit we decide has a split where I have to decide if I want to go north or south...and I have like 1 nanosecond to decide (I don't do cardinal directions BTW...). Of course I pick the wrong one which puts me on another highway and I'm in another county before I can turn around. I do realize I am being dramatic right now, but the nachos I am eating right now are starting to calm me down...maybe if I eat them faster! I have the brilliant idea after my rendezvous with Marc that I will stop at the closest LA Fitness since traffic is stopped everywhere. Another great idea in theory but once I get off the exit, it takes me another 30 minutes to go 1 mile....

...But alas, I finally made it to the gym to sweat off my frustration...2 hours later and I'm pretty sure I'm eating enough calories to completely negate my workouts from the past week but it's totally worth it. Now off to enjoy my tacos and cinnamon twists!

Adventures in KY

This past weekend, my mom, Marc and I traveled to Lexington, KY for the UGA-UK game. My mom has been talking up this UGA-UK game since she and my stepdad, Fred, went two years ago. So, this year, she got 4 tickets for all of us to go. Unfortunately, Fred couldn't come at the last minute so we gave the 4th ticket to my sweet friend Sloanie. The adventure started on Friday morning when Mom picked us up and after a short stop at Whole Foods, we were KY-bound!

If there's one thing about my mother, she never meets a stranger. When in public, she can hardly concentrate on one thing because she's so excited at the possibility of talking to someone new (I guess I know where I get my short attention span from). Mom made friends with the employees of the KY Welcome Center (yes, we did stop there just to talk with them), our hotel, our waiter at dinner on Friday night, at Keeneland for the race horses and of course at the game on Saturday night. Mom always leaves places with friends...which I have to admit is quite helpful when you're in a new place. Thanks to her lack of a shy bone in her body, we discovered Cumberland Gap Falls off exit 15 in Kentucky and a great running trail near our hotel that winded through horses farms (we ran a grueling 6.5 miles...Mom has her 1/2 marathon in December, mine is in January and Marc is just plain crazy but a great encourager!)

Here are some pictures from our adventures this weekend:

Mom and I are super excited about stopping at the KY Welcome Center!

At Cumberland Gap Falls as suggested by our friend at the Welcome Center. It was beautiful!


At the horse races in Keeneland. For all of us, it was our first horse racing experience.
A nice gentleman gave us his tickets to his box!
Go horses! I have to admit I can see why betting becomes addicting...we stopped after one race and none of our horses won.
My friend Sloanie was at the races too (she's the one on the far left)!
Go Dawgs!

Marc's Recap of Catalyst

I wanted to share a recent paper my sweet hubby wrote for school. Marc never ceases to amaze me how much he can accomplish in a week - working 30+ hours at Chick-fil-A, reading a few books for school and writing papers when he gets home, and any additional projects or chores I ask of him. I am so proud of him, so check out his recap of Catalyst:

I attended Catalyst for the first time last year and was instantly hooked. I came home each night and regurgitated the amazing things I heard to my wife, Cris, and told her that I wanted her to attend with me this year. I work for Chick-fil-A’s corporate office, here in Atlanta, and am lucky that they consider the Catalyst conference an opportunity for training and development and pay for me to attend.

I attended the conference with several things on my mind. I am entering my final year of school, looking toward graduation in June. After working for 2 years as a part-time analyst at Chick-fil-A, I am also looking to move into a full-time position at the beginning of the year. Both school and work fall under my “have-to” commitments. In addition, I am also involved in my church as well as my wife’s work with kidz2leaders, Inc., a non-profit that works with prisoners’ children in the Metro-Atlanta area.

Entering the labs on Wednesday, I chose to attend the sessions that seemed to speak to urban ministry as well as teen ministry, the focus of my efforts with kidz2leaders and my church. I began with Eric Mason as he spoke about incarnational mission, defining it as “understanding and practice of Christian witness that is rooted in and shaped by the life, ministry, suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus.” He also said, “In order to be a healer, the church needs to know the wounds of the city firsthand.” These comments hit home for me as Cris and I have been recently discussing how to become more involved in the lives of the kids from kidz2leaders. We both knew that the weeklong camp each summer and sporadic events throughout the year were not enough to make a true investment in the kids’ lives.

Every summer at Camp Hope, youth from an Atlanta suburb come from their nice homes and new technology to spend a week with the under-privileged kids from inner-city Atlanta. It becomes easy for me to look at the suburban youth as the perfect examples from Tim Elmore’s Generation iY, completely self absorbed, lacking character, and entitled. But as I consider these negative qualities about the youth, and become hard on them for their lack of investment in the society around them, I realize that I live in their same neighborhoods. I feel convicted that I too go to the communities that the Camp Hope kids live in, often taking them out of their neighborhoods for an event, then returning them back home before I come back to my comfort zone. Though I understand that the kids from Camp Hope have a hard life at home, I do not understand what they face daily because I am not in the middle of their lives daily.

My misunderstanding of their lives and the things that they face bring about additional questions as well. As Eric Mason warned us to “never reduce the Gospel to only a part of the Gospel,” TD Jakes also challenged us to “Go into all the world, not all of our community,” and to leave our “corner” of comfort in order to expand our mindset. He said, “If you only talk to people like yourself, your truth is distorted” and “Until you are willing to be uncomfortable, you will not grow.” These statements all hit home for me. Since camp this summer, Cris and I have been discussing how we could get more involved with the kids in their own neighborhoods, and we both have a desire to spend significant amounts of time with them, not just the extra time that we have after our commitments. We want to be able to spend time with them daily and have a place that they call their own, where we can meet them there, in their community. As Alan and Debra Hirsch discussed, we desire to have a relationship similar to an extended family with these kids. It becomes easy for us to get hung up in our nuclear family, and it becomes especially easy for me to want to protect my family from the “dangers” of a different society. However, I truly believe what TD Jakes said; “No one single people group represents the totality of who God is.” Believing that, I cannot know the fullness of God in my white-suburbia neighborhood and family. I have to go into the communities with these children and I have to be willing to learn, not assuming that I know the best answers. Too often I am tempted to share the things that I know or that I have learned rather than taking the time to learn from those that are not like me.

Naturally, there are many things that Cris and I feel limit us from being able to jump right in to being with these kids. For one, I work 30+ hours a week for Chick-fil-A’s corporate office and spend most of my nights completing my school work. After working part-time for two years, paying my own insurance, and making an hourly salary, I am on the verge of having the opportunity to move into a full-time position that will be salaried and include a nice benefits package. As exciting as it is, and as much as I love working for Chick-fil-A, I can’t help but wonder if this job is my “bowl of stew.” It’s weird to ponder that, as I believe that God works through Chick-fil-A and I have been incredibly blessed by the men that I have been able to work with the past two years. However, I know that my appetite desires a larger salary, which will allow me to better support my family as well as make some required improvements on my house, as well as receive benefits, including maternity insurance so that Cris and I can start a family. Though I can argue all day that my desires for both of those are biblical, I can’t help but wonder if my appetite is feeding me impact bias, as Andy Stanley discussed. Daniel Pink said that we are motivated by our carnal desires, including money, but also the desire to do the right thing. My greatest fear in moving into a full-time position is that it will take away my opportunity to serve Camp Hope and the kids that I love with freedom. As I work part-time, I have freedom to take time off since I only get paid for the hours that I work. I am careful not to abuse this privilege, using it more for school and Camp Hope than personal days. I have a strong work ethic, so I often work more hours during a given week than I should, but I also know that I can take time away from the office to take care of my other responsibilities. My fear is that by moving into a full-time position I will become absorbed in the daily requirements and will not have the freedom to serve both my family and the kids that I love from Camp Hope.

As I weigh these fears, it is easy to assume that in order to fulfill the Lord’s desires for me with the kids from Camp Hope that I must choose either Chick-fil-A or ministry. However, Chick-fil-A is a perfect example of a company that works in order to serve God, and even the corporate purpose states, “To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that He has entrusted to us, and to be a positive influence on anyone who comes in contact with Chick-fil-A.” Danny Wuerffel said, “Too often, people think they need to put their skills on the shelf in order to serve.” I completely understand what he meant by that. Daily I feel as though I am being pulled in many different directions after things that I either desire or need to do. I have committed to working at Chick-fil-A, and love what I do, but I can’t help but wonder if I allow it to get in the way of what God desires for me.

Both my hesitancy to go into the kids’ communities as well as my concerns about the full-time position are both driven by fear of something unknown or uncomfortable. Debra and Alan Hirsch stated, “God claims full loyalty over us; anything that stands between that is an idol,” and “To accept the one-ship of God is to give up all our idols.” That clearly defines that anything that keeps me apart from the Lord is an idol, including my comfort and fear of the unknown. Much of this is from the insecurity that dwells within me. Beth Moore asked, “Can you be dead enough to yourself to welcome any movement of God?” If I desire to experience what the Lord wants for my life, I have to be willing to step into something uncomfortable. Mark Batterson said, “We all want a miracle, but never want to be put in a situation that requires one.” He also challenged that ministry should be a bit dangerous. Seth Godin echoed his challenge to live dangerously, saying that “we bowl at work every day…avoiding gutters and looking for strikes.” I don’t want to live carefully! As much as I hate failure, I want the opportunity to fail, because only then will I have tried something new. I do not want to be able to always explain the things that I am a part of. Perry Noble said, “The greatest things that ever happened are unexplainable; and if they are explainable, they weren’t from God!” He went on to say, “God will lead you to a place you aren’t sure you should go, but are happy you went.” The discomfort of the unknown will lead to a place where I can experience God.

The greatest challenge from Catalyst was posed by Francis Chan when he said, “If you put your life in the Scriptures, what is your definition of weird?” I immediately began to look at these two areas of my life, work and ministry, and couldn’t help by wonder which was more in line with Scripture. Since that challenge, my brain has been continuously thinking about all of my desires to work with the kids as well as my responsibilities to work and provide for my family. At one point, I looked to Cris and said, “What does any of this have to do with chicken?” Over the past couple of weeks, I have also been wondering, when I meet Jesus face-to-face, will He be more proud of me as a Business Analyst or as a servant of those that have less than I?

Catalyst challenged me to review my commitments and the things that I place my time and efforts into, as well as the things that I have found ways to put off. I have a desire to love on the kids from Camp Hope and help heal their wounds, and I would love to be able to do so with Cris. I will continue in prayer, seeking after the plans of God, and pray that I have the strength to follow after whatever path He lays before me.

The Power of the Impossible

Today's devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries was so good I wanted to share it with everyone! I hope it blesses you as much as it did me:

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Five years ago I sat beside my youngest sister and listened as she boldly rejected my views of God. She's always been a free spirit, much too non-conventional for traditional religion.

"Good thing I'm not into religion," I gently replied.

She twisted her face as if half expecting a lightening bolt to strike us both. "But you ARE religious."

I laid my head against the back of the lounge chair, closed my eyes to the sun now washing over me and simply replied, "Nope."

Deciding to let my statement just sit for a while, I decided not to clarify unless she asked. And ask she did.

That's when I explained that I follow God not a list of rules. I am passionate about getting into the Bible - God's teachings - and letting the Bible get into me. I no longer evaluate life based on my feelings. Instead, I let my feelings and experiences be evaluated in light of God's Word.

I have watched God chase me around with rich evidence of His presence and invitations to trade apathy for active faith. But I had to make the choice to see God. Hear God. Know God. And follow hard after God.

Then I took my sister's hand and told her I'd be praying for God to mess with her in ways too bold for her to deny.

Fast forward over five years later. My sister walks into one of her professor's office and sees one of my books on her bookshelf. I don't think she really believed anyone actually read my books. But there it was. And it messed with her.

She later went home and poked around my blog a bit where she found a clip of my testimony. Again, it messed with her. One verse in particular messed with her so much that she let the possibility that God exists slip into her heart.

A few days later she went and had Jeremiah 29:11 tattooed on the back of her neck. And she started calling wanting to talk to me. About life. About tattoos. And about God.

Last Thursday, I stood in the middle of the Atlanta airport praying for this precious girl who had called asking for those prayers. She had called. She had asked. And that's the miracle of our Jesus. He is the God of the impossible.

I wonder what might happen if we dared to ask God for the impossible just a little more often. I'm up for it? Are you?

Dear Lord, use me today to reach the heart of one. I want to trade any apathy I may have today for active faith. Lead me, and I will follow. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

The Tension is Good

Last week was the week of conferences! Following my "big girl" conference, I experienced Catalyst 2010. And, what an experience it was. I heard from so many amazing men and women - Andy Stanley, Beth Moore, Francis Chan, Christine Caine, Perry Noble, T.D. Jakes and more. I was blessed to hear Kari Jobe sing - she is such a gifted worship leader!

The focus of this year's Catalyst conference was "The Tension of Good." This is a concept that I am still digesting - being the type A perfectionist, tension is not good. I strive for organization and efficiency...I am a tried and true people-pleaser (most of the time). Ask me where I want to go to dinner, and I will probably say, "I don't care, where do you want to go?" Not because I don't have an opinion, I'm just not confident in it and would the other person be pleased. The speakers challenged this idea of perfection saying that tension is good...it's where progress occurs.

As I wrote in an earlier post, Marc and I have feel that we are just in the beginning of what God is calling us to. kidz2leaders has introduced us to the world of inner-city and know that these doors have been opened, they can never be closed. We feel called to more, we have desires and passions - to adopt, to foster, to have our own children, to go where He leads us. But, when I tell God that I will go where He leads me, do I really mean this? Am I really willing? I have to first learn obedience to Him, even at the risk of not pleasing everyone around me. Omg...that is scary to even type. I can't be lukewarm, I can't make everyone happy, I have to learn to tell people no. And more than that, I have to get over myself. I don't want people following me or Marc, I want them following our Heavenly Father. I pray that I would just get out of the way and be obedient to Him - whatever that means.

So, the tension is good!

A Big Girl Conference

Today I had the amazing opportunity to attend Forever Family's Practitioner's Institute - a conference that brought together all of the amazing men and women who work with incarcerated families. For those of you that don't know, the ministry I work with, kidz2leaders, inc. works solely with prisoners' children in the metro-Atlanta area. I was excited to go for the simple fact that I would to be surrounded by other men and women who are passionate about making a difference in people's lives whether it be the child who has a parent incarcerated or the parent who is coming out of prison.

It was humbling to be surrounded my people who had been advocating for this population for 20-30 years. Sometimes I feel like having worked with k2l for 4 years makes me an expert but there is still so much to learn. While not all of the organizations were faith-based, I was impressed that the guest speaker encouraged us all to put God in the middle of the work we have been called to do. We (me) all need a good reminder that it's His work, His will, His kids and not mine.

...On a side note, I was reminded that even though your office lets you wear t-shirts and jeans to work, it is ok to bust out your business attire every once in a while. It's been such a long time that I have been to a "professional" conference, I think I forgot wearing a suit is actually appropriate. Oops...I guess my capris and cardigan weren't exactly business casual! I was also asked to serve as a "faculty member" in break-out sessions to talk to people about summer camps for prisoners' children which means I had to submit a bio on myself...let me just add I need a little help in this area. My bio read at the end, "Mrs. Hunt lives with her husband, Marc, and their dog Bailey. Yes, I included information about my dog in my bio. So...next time I am asked to attend a professional conference where a bio is needed, I will be sure to put on my big girl panties, wear a suit, and be sure to have someone other than me write my bio .....

13 weeks to get ready for...

...13.1 on January 8th at the most wonderful place on Earth...Disneyworld!

I've been contemplating running one when Btrain (college roommate and best friend) aka Georgia Belle J.D. gave me a million reasons to do one...she's doing it! Excited to run with her and sport some cute mouse ears. But, I can't help but think... what am I thinking?! More to come later....

Let's Hear it for the Boys!

Ok...so I have a confession. I really enjoy hanging out with boys at Camp Hope, our church and just in general. They say the funniest things and they are just so cool! For example, this was a conversation between me and Gregory on Saturday:
"Mrs. Cris, what is your full name?"
"Well, it's Crisara Douglas Hunt but it used to be Crisara Lynn Douglas."
"Oh, what happened?"
"I got married."
"Oh yea, how is that going for you?" (Gregory is 16 years old btw...)
"It's going great Gregory!"
"So Mr. Marc is nice to you?" "Yes he is."
"Well Mrs. Cris, you know where to find me if he's not."
I would really hang out with them all the time if I could but I'm pretty sure they just think I'm lame. Anyway, this weekend was a packed weekend of hanging out with boys. On Friday night, Marc and I went to Friday Night Lights with City of Refuge. On Friday nights, they open up their gym for the kids in the area to come play basketball. The guys there were so nice to us - once again, would hang out with them all of the time. I had a little guy help me with the score board and Marc painfully stood on the sidelines watching the guys play. Next time he will be sure to wear clothes to play...including his infamous white tee and shoes. Saturday, we had an afternoon of football and ultimate Frisbee with some of our Camp hope guys at our church, St. Philip UMC. The day went off without a hitch except for one of our footballs getting stolen by a neighborhood kid. The guys played for 5 hours straight and pretty much wore out all of the adults. The boys always impress me with how polite they are. They kept thanking me for organizing them to play football and when I would ask them how they were, they always respond, "How are you Mrs. Cris?" Yes, I want to take them all home.Ok...just one more story about one of my all-time favorite kids from church, Ray-Ray. He was at our church last year for about 6 months and then after Mother's Day, he and most of the kids from the neighborhood left and haven't been back since. I heard that Ray-Ray moved, but he will always have a special place in my heart. Here was a deep conversation Ray-Ray and I had about his life aspirations:
"Ray-Ray, what do you want to do when you grow up?"
"Well, I want to live in a big house with like 25 rooms."
"Wow Ray-Ray, that's going to be expensive. What are you going to do to make money to build that house?"
"I'm going to be an engineer."
"Well, I hear GA Tech is a great college to go to if you want to be an engineer."
"Yea yea, but hey, Mrs. Cris, what is an engineer?"

Summer Adventures

Well it seems that fall has finally made its way to the South. The leaves are starting to turn and there is a definite chill in the air. This also means our air conditioner (and our power bill for that matter) will get a break...hallelujah! Last night, as Marc and I were eating a delicious dinner on the porch (another favorite thing of ours to do when it's not 100-jillion degrees outside), we reminisced about this summer and how quickly it flew by. Actually, this year is rapidly flying by! Here's a recap of the many fun adventures we had this summer...
We celebrated our 3rd Anniversary with a visit to the High Museum and dinner at Canoe.

We celebrated Bethany's graduation from law school and Brooke's wedding!


We did our first triathlon and went to Houston for Kim's wedding.
We ate a LOT of Chick-fil-a!
We went to our third year of Camp Hope!!!


We relaxed at the beach...

Hung out with some kids...



Went to visit B-train in D.C.

Did another one of these...
And when there was time...

Living as a Sheep

For the past 6 weeks, our church has been doing a series on Psalm 23 and preaching on a verse each week. This psalm has always been a comfort to me, but it's definitely been a passage that I sometimes glance over thinking there is nothing new I can learn...which of course it completely not true. Each verse started meaning something different to me this morning as the pastor summed each line of this famous psalm. This is what I wrote down:

God wants to be in relationship with me and leads me; He will provide for my needs.
He offers rest and refreshment amidst this hectic life.
He restores me to His image; He guides and leads me for His glory.
He offers peace in trouble; He is with me, He pursues me, He wants me; He disciplines me because He loves me.
He renders my enemies harmless, He protects me. I am His chosen one, His daughter. I am blessed by His abundance.
He pursues me with His love and mercy. I will live in Him forever.

Not too shabby of a life for a sheep. Amen!

A Year after the Flood

Today is a much sunnier day than one year ago when our basement was filling with water and homes in Atlanta were completely flooded. Some of the families I work with saw their homes destroyed by last year's storm waters - one even watched their car float away. Marc and I were still in our bright-eyed, bushy-tailed first time homeowner phase when the rains came. We had just purchased our first home in April and the realities of home-ownership hit us hard as water filled our basement. How were we going to pay for this? What do you mean there is evidence of previous water damage? It was a sobering experience to say the least.

We have learned more than we ever expected to from our first home. We've learned that home ownership is expensive and stressful especially when we are trying to save any money we have for Marc's school. We've learned that Bailey can climb chain-link fences. Marc has learned that I really love pulling weeds but have no idea how to really use the leaf blower though I really do try. Exactly one year after the flood, we learned that we have to get a very expensive termite treatment - definitely not expected nor on our lengthy "to-do" list. Darn you termites! But, this is the home where have enjoyed countless cook-outs, had our first trick-or-treaters, had 3 wonderful friends live with us and will be where we will become parents and raise children. But, I won't get ahead of myself because no, I am not pregnant even though my mom asked me within the first 10 minutes of visiting her this weekend. It went something like this, "You look so pretty...are you pregnant?"



"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." - Matthew 7:24-25

I like it...

...what can I say, I'm a sucker for a good pop song....

Conviction

Conviction...that's a hard word to even type because for me, I have 2 options once I get that tugging on my heart/stomach that will NOT go away and neither option is easy: ignore it and move on with life but still having the same realization OR putting that realization into action. Here's how I got to my tugging of the heart...

Part 1 - I've decided to read the Bible from front to back. I needed a good book to read and I've never read the entire Bible. I feel as a Christian, that's something I "should" do but even more than that, I want to know His truth. I am at a place in my life where I have certain desires and feel called by those desires. However, to say, "God has called me to ___," I feel like I need to know who He is. I want to know my Caller and His truth. So that's how I started my journey on reading the entire Bible. I just finished Genesis and wow...there's a lot in there I didn't know. I bet you didn't know the word semen was in Genesis...well come to find out it is.

Part 2 - (Almost) every morning, I read from Beth Moore's devotional. This morning was from Genesis 22 about Abraham being tested by God: "Then God said, 'Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." I just read this in Genesis but Beth Moore's devotion brought this scripture into a completely different perspective for me today. Abraham and Rebekah prayed and prayed for a child and then the Lord granted them with Isaac. Then, the Lord asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham OBEYED because He trusted the Lord. God had promised to make Abraham's descendants as numerous as the stars - so even though God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only son, he obeyed because He trusted the Lord's promise. The story continues and God ended up stopping Abraham from sacrificing Isaac. Instead, the Lord provided Abraham with a ram to sacrifice.

Part 3 - I receive an e-mail devotion every day from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Today's was Out of the Waiting Room. Here's a few excerpts:

Why does the doctor provide such a calming environment? Because he or she knows that by and large, people do not like to wait there. Truth is, we don't much like to wait anywhere for any length of time.

And we often cringe at the mere idea of waiting on God - more than any other kind of waiting. He is so frequently not in a hurry. We don't want to learn patience by waiting, though it is often the best way to learn it.

But consider for a moment the flipside. Consider for a moment those times when the waiting room door has been thrown open but we're still sitting in the chair by the fish, afraid to get up, get out and get moving. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we sense God nudging us to step out, but instead we're oddly content to just wait it out - perhaps hoping someone else will make the move we're supposed to make.

Just as there are times when God wants us to wait on Him; there are times when He calls us to action. And just as we need to listen for His voice in times of waiting, we need to obey His prompting when the wait is over.

...all of this led to think what is my Isaac? What do I want to hold onto and not give to the Lord in obedience? My money, my time, my home, CONTROL. What do I want immediately rather than waiting on God's timing? Children, Marc's full time job, discovering this calling whatever it may look like.

I'm reminded through this, that I have to trust completely the Lord's promise and even more, His timing. He is faithful, He is trustworthy, He has plans for me and Marc. And, there will be times when it's painful and I won't understand what is being asked of me. I can only imagine what Abraham must have thought when God asked him to sacrifice his son. But, He provided a ram instead. There is a time for preparation and waiting and a time for obedience and action. Rather than always looking for the next season, I need to enjoy where He has me and trust Him in all circumstances.

Home Sweet Home

Ahhh...the beach was soooo relaxing....three full days of sitting on the beach, napping and having no particular schedule. Doesn't that sound just wonderful?!! Because our schedule can be so hectic, I love taking full advantage of doing nothing - and I know Marc enjoys it too. We seem to always be doing something between school, visiting kids, family or just getting stuff done around the house. ANYWAY, back to relaxing....ahhhh. We went with three other couples - two we know through our small group. We took turns cooking dinner and then on Monday night, went to Red Bar. Having a Red Bar experience makes you feel like you are a part of a secret club. I had a Red Bar experience twice my freshman year of college and whenever I would see people with Red Bar t-shirts or stickers on their car, I felt like we had this very special connection. It's this hole in the wall restaurant outside of Destin (Grayton Beach to be exact) with delicious food, live music and posters covering the wall. Just a very unique dining experience! I've only been talking to Marc about it forever and he finally was introduced to Red Bar. So, we went, we ate and I got a t-shirt!

Now it's home sweet home. I'm sitting here with my sweet hubby, 2 sleeping doggies and loving every minute of it!

Lather, Rinse, and Do Not Repeat...

This morning I washed my face with shampoo. I think this can only mean one thing and no, it's not that I'm crazy but rather...it's time for a vacation. Thank the LORD that we are leaving for the beach on Friday. I think I hear angels singing just saying that!

We are headed to the beaches of South Walton, FL near Destin with a few couples from our small group and this will be our home from Friday to Tuesday: http://www.vacationrentals.com/vacation-rentals/5801.html. The name of the house is Afternoon Nap - and yes, I plan to take quite a few on the beach. 2 MORE DAYS!!

Happy Friday!

Happy Friday ya'll! One of the many perks of working with kidz2leaders is that the office is closed on Friday. I do end up working from home sometimes but it's a great time to get some stuff done that I don't have time to do throughout the week. Today will be filled with an ever-so-exciting day of cleaning the house. Be very jealous! I just got back from walking Bailey, our sweet Beagle mut and you would have thought I just sprinted a mile the way I'm sweating. Please fall come soon!

Anyway, tomorrow we're headed to the 'boro for a Going Away Party for Allison and Chad - Marc's sister and her husband. They have made a huge leap of faith and are moving to Chicago - you can read more about them moving to the big city in Allison's blog - Peachy Doodle Dandy. Then, we're headed to Athens for the Tri for Cancer bright and early Sunday morning.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! I leave with you an amazing worship song by Phil Wickham...he's amazing...right behind Mac Powell.

Running is not my friend today...

...ugh is about the best way to sum up my run this morning. I don't usually run in the mornings - mistake #1. I am not a morning person until I've had a cup of coffee and I had 1 sip before I jetted out - mistake #2. And, I'm pretty sure I had already decided I was not going to run well before I got out the door - mistake #3.

I know bad running days are part of it but I take it so incredibly personally, like, "What did I do to you running? I'm trying out here. Can I please not feel like a slug dragging across the pavement?" I guess a bad running day is part of growth in this process, just like my relationship with the Lord sometimes. And, just like running, it's my inconsistencies, stubbornness, and mental blocks that get in the way of progress. The Lord is constant, always there and never changes. This is GREAT news for someone like me that experience 5,478 emotions in one day.

Well, off to work...I'm confident running and I will make up before the race on Sunday!

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1-2

Tri for Rachel

One thing you should know about me is that God did not grace me with coordination or the slightest bit of athleticism. To be frank, I'm a wimp and hate pushing myself to the point of discomfort. Torture for me in highschool was having to run (let's be honest..walk) the mile. Nonetheless, I'm doing my 2nd sprint triathlon this Sunday. Crazy...yes!

I have my mom and my friend Lauren to blame for all of this. Working out used to mean going to the gym, doing my 30 minutes on the elliptical and calling it a day. I didn't even break a sweat and got to watch some "classy" tv. Then, my mom started telling me that she was running 5Ks...and running them well. My mom? A runner? Ok, if she can do it, I can too! So, I started doing the couch to 5K plan. After 10 weeks, I was running 30 minutes, then all of a sudden out of nowhere, I ran 4 miles two days in a row. I have yet to do that since but still, I was capable of being a runner ...even if just a fair-weather one! I ran my first 5K last October with my mom. I was feeling good about life, but then my friend Lauren decided at the beginning of the year that we should do a triathlon. I was pretty sure she had fallen off her rocker. Did she know who she was talking to? And, didn't that tri-thing mean you have to swim and bike? I still had my purple Trek from middle school and swimming meant the frog swim (yes, I am 26 and do the frog swim). I told Marc that night about Lauren's insane idea but he was into it. Next thing I know, we have a 12-week plan to help us accomplish our first sprint tri, we have road bikes, we're wearing spandex, and we're either running, swimming and biking every day. I even had a heart rate monitor. This was feeling very foreign...who was this girl! And, I was stressed. What if I drown (to calm this fear I purchased a hot pink swim cap so they could find me in the bottom of the pool)? What if I can't make it? All of the what if's started clouding my head and nerves were all I had the morning of the race. After 2.5 hours of sweat, some tears, and lots of pep talks (some in my head and some out loud), I crossed the finish line. Not only was I a runner (somewhat) but now I was a triathlete. After sobbing incoherently in the car because I have no idea why (another thing you'll learn about me is that I'm neurotic and emotional), I turned to Marc and said, "So when are we signing up for the next race?"

Julie, Me and Lauren after our first sprint tri!

This Sunday marks the 2nd race and this time, I'm more excited than nervous. For one, I'm doing a relay with my friend Julie (aka Speedy on the bike). The bike makes me cuss so I was happy to release that burden. I'll be frog-swimming it and running it! Secondly, this race is in memory of my friend Rachel. Marc and I were blessed to have the opportunity to meet Rachel through our small group about a year-and-a-half ago. You can read all of her story here, but in short, she lost her battle to cervical cancer in July. She was an amazing young lady, mother, and wife - and I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to get to know her. I am so proud to do Tri to Beat Cancer Triathalon in her memory.

So it begins....

I have thought about writing a blog for quite a while now and always ended up staring at a blank page. The thoughts are there but for some reason, I am intimidated by the blank screen staring back at me. Once upon a time, I was a Journalism major at the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs!), and I loved telling people's stories. Everyone has a story to tell...but telling my own is somehow different. But here we go FINALLY with the first post. However, being the neurotic person I am, I wasn't able to start writing until I had the perfect layout and when I mean perfect I mean that poor Marc spent an entire evening helping me create the layout that we call our blog home. Thank you Marc! :)

Well, I guess the best place to start is the beginning, so I'll attempt to keep it short. I grew up with my mom and stepdad in Greensboro, GA (aka the 'Boro) and with my dad who lives outside of Augusta in South Carolina. I always grew up in church and knew about God, but it was Dan and Leigh, my youth pastors, who introduced me to the living God. They were absolute fools for Christ and I loved it! I also met Marc in youth group. Marc and I dated on and off after graduating from highschool, but it wasn't until I transferred to UGA my sophomore year of college that we started dating with a "purpose," as I like to call it. After graduation, Marc and I ended up in corporate Atlanta. I did not understand 285 (and still don't really even though I know it's a circle) and I despised traffic. I missed the small town feel of the 'Boro and Athens. I see now it was just a part of the process for both me and Marc. Marc proposed in 2006 and we were married May 5, 2007. Coincidentally, in the Bible that Dan and Leigh gave our youth group when we graduated from highschool was dated May 5, 2002 and they had accidentally written my name in Marc's bible. Guess they knew something we didn't!

So to bring us up to speed, after 3 years of marriage, Marc and I have lived in 2 apartments, bought a house in the 'burbs, both changed jobs, and Marc went back to school. Sounds hectic huh? Well it was and it still is at times, but it's a life I wouldn't trade for anything. And, I have this feeling this adventure is only just beginning!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 (my favorite verse...EVER!)