Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Conviction...that's a hard word to even type because for me, I have 2 options once I get that tugging on my heart/stomach that will NOT go away and neither option is easy: ignore it and move on with life but still having the same realization OR putting that realization into action. Here's how I got to my tugging of the heart...

Part 1 - I've decided to read the Bible from front to back. I needed a good book to read and I've never read the entire Bible. I feel as a Christian, that's something I "should" do but even more than that, I want to know His truth. I am at a place in my life where I have certain desires and feel called by those desires. However, to say, "God has called me to ___," I feel like I need to know who He is. I want to know my Caller and His truth. So that's how I started my journey on reading the entire Bible. I just finished Genesis and wow...there's a lot in there I didn't know. I bet you didn't know the word semen was in Genesis...well come to find out it is.

Part 2 - (Almost) every morning, I read from Beth Moore's devotional. This morning was from Genesis 22 about Abraham being tested by God: "Then God said, 'Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." I just read this in Genesis but Beth Moore's devotion brought this scripture into a completely different perspective for me today. Abraham and Rebekah prayed and prayed for a child and then the Lord granted them with Isaac. Then, the Lord asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham OBEYED because He trusted the Lord. God had promised to make Abraham's descendants as numerous as the stars - so even though God asked Abraham to sacrifice his only son, he obeyed because He trusted the Lord's promise. The story continues and God ended up stopping Abraham from sacrificing Isaac. Instead, the Lord provided Abraham with a ram to sacrifice.

Part 3 - I receive an e-mail devotion every day from Proverbs 31 Ministries. Today's was Out of the Waiting Room. Here's a few excerpts:

Why does the doctor provide such a calming environment? Because he or she knows that by and large, people do not like to wait there. Truth is, we don't much like to wait anywhere for any length of time.

And we often cringe at the mere idea of waiting on God - more than any other kind of waiting. He is so frequently not in a hurry. We don't want to learn patience by waiting, though it is often the best way to learn it.

But consider for a moment the flipside. Consider for a moment those times when the waiting room door has been thrown open but we're still sitting in the chair by the fish, afraid to get up, get out and get moving. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we sense God nudging us to step out, but instead we're oddly content to just wait it out - perhaps hoping someone else will make the move we're supposed to make.

Just as there are times when God wants us to wait on Him; there are times when He calls us to action. And just as we need to listen for His voice in times of waiting, we need to obey His prompting when the wait is over.

...all of this led to think what is my Isaac? What do I want to hold onto and not give to the Lord in obedience? My money, my time, my home, CONTROL. What do I want immediately rather than waiting on God's timing? Children, Marc's full time job, discovering this calling whatever it may look like.

I'm reminded through this, that I have to trust completely the Lord's promise and even more, His timing. He is faithful, He is trustworthy, He has plans for me and Marc. And, there will be times when it's painful and I won't understand what is being asked of me. I can only imagine what Abraham must have thought when God asked him to sacrifice his son. But, He provided a ram instead. There is a time for preparation and waiting and a time for obedience and action. Rather than always looking for the next season, I need to enjoy where He has me and trust Him in all circumstances.

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