Wednesday, October 12, 2011

It's Positive!

I had heard many people say about getting pregnant, "We're not trying to get pregnant, but we're not NOT trying to get pregnant." They sounded so smooth and low key about it would just happen when it was supposed to. So, that's the mentality I went into the baby making process. Now fully covered with maternity insurance, I decided to put this very calm sounding mantra into action.

I stood corrected...there was nothing smooth or low key about it. You are either trying or you are not. Thoughts of being pregnant ran rampant in my thoughts, conversation, researching fertility, ovulation...come to find out, I really had no idea how the female body worked. I won't go into all of the amazing and gross details of it, but the long and short of it is - pregnancy is a miracle. One that I cou
ldn't plan - I mean, I could try, but ultimately, it was up to God. I was learning the same lesson over and over and over....

It was the beginning of March and we were up in the 'Boro celebrating birthdays with family. We stayed the night at my in-laws and the pregnancy topic was brought up with my sister-in-law. I said very smoothly that we were not preventing anything from happening, it will happen when it's ready and all that jazz. The next day, I woke up and I could not breathe. I think I have grown to be allergic to cats or basements or both. Anywho, I was overall not feeling great. On our way home, we stopped by my parents to say hello. Mom kept offering me a glass of wine, but being that I couldn't smell or taste anything, wine did not sound the least bit appealing. She very quickly cornered me and said, "Are you pregnant? You would tell me if you are right? Are you?" I quickly reassured Mom that I was NOT pregnant....didn't she know we were just "letting it happen"? ;)

I pretty much decided on the way home that evening that I was taking a pregnancy test. I had become a pro at them anyway. What's one more test? I didn't even tell Marc I was going to take it because I knew he would 1. try to be rational and 2. wonder why I kept spending our money on expensive tests that I kept throwing away! I even hid the test behind the shower curtain once I took it so he didn't see it. I went to go help him unload the car and after a few minutes, I ran back to the bathroom to see the results. I was sure it was negative - I
mean, I didn't have any symptoms, I had not technically "missed" anything and every other test had said negative, so wouldn't this one too. I pulled back the curtain to read the word "Positive."

Well, I'm proud to say that my first words after reading the P-word were curse words quickly followed by the thought, "Are you sure?" Marc came in quickly when he heard the obscenities being uttered in the bathroom, and all I could do it is hold up the test with a terrified look. I will never forget the sweet smile that came across his face. I, on the other hand, was all of a sudden feeling light-headed and still didn't believe this test, so I took another one. Well, according to BOTH tests, we were pregnant.

I was shocked - it's funny how you keep thinking about something and wondering when it's going to happen, but then it happens, and you are completely surprised by your reaction. I was speechless and filled with more doubt than ever. The next day, I promptly made an appointment with my doctor because I was certain their tests would prove these silly store-bought tests wrong. The nurse came back with her very official test and said, "You're pregnant...barely pregnant, but definitely pregnant."

And with that, the P-word completely changed our lives.

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