It's amazing how much running does clear my head. Thoughts that usually are jumbled all of a sudden align into meaning. Of course, not all runs end in life-altering insight but today's did.
So, as I outlined my goals for 2013, I thought it was about something familiar, now I am realizing they were something unexpected. I made goals about growth as a wife and mom, but then God intersects your life with somethig new and different, something you weren't prepared to deal with. And, that's where faith comes in. I think I'm supposed to be obedient to Marc (and I am) and content with my life as a stay-at-home mom (I'm supposed to do that also), but life intersects with God's ordained will and timing.
On Wednesday, I received a life-altering text. The rubber hit the road. There was a choice - stepping out in faith or if you're a control freak like me, running to what's comfortable, outlining controls, methods and plans...which is what I did. I freaked out and planned out how to deal with the unexpected. Is it a coincidence that my Bible study is currently going through Abram/Abraham's life? His obedience as God led him through the promised land. Abram's humanness as he hears God's promises but stills follows his own plans or the customs of that day. The intimacy Abram and God shared as Abram poured out his heart God - his desires, his fears, his anxiety. God's promise to Abram, "I am your shield; your very great reward." God keeping His promises in His time.
If my eyes weren't open to Him, the timing of this study and His word would just be a coincidence, and I would miss it. I would miss the Hope that is in Him. He is our Hope, and He is the Hope of impossible situations. Impossible situations that come from life-altering moments where I have a choice: to do my will or be obedient and content to His will. Allowing myself to give up on my hopes and let Him be Hope. The single rose blossom in our driveway would usually go unnoticed, but today it was a reminder that Hope does blossom. In it's time. An unexpected reminder in the middle of a dreary and cold winter...there is Hope.
And the rubber hits the road.